Tony Scott: 0:21

Welcome to The Jay Franze Show, a behind-the-curtain look at the entertainment industry, with insights you can't pay for and stories you've never heard. Now here's your host, Jay Franze.

Jay Franze: 0:49

And we are coming at you live. I am Jay Franze and this is your source for the latest news, reviews and interviews. So if you would like to join in, comment or fire off any questions, please head over to jayfranzycom. All right, folks, tonight we have a very special guest with us. I said it once, I will say it again we have a very special guest. We have an actual singer, an actress and a performing artist Hailing from the great state of New York. We have Ann Kittredge. Ann, my friend, how are you?

Ann Kittredge: 1:18

Hey.

Jay Franze: 1:19

So good to have you here tonight. I'm very excited about this.

Ann Kittredge: 1:22

I'm looking forward to it so am.

Jay Franze: 1:24

I, so let's just jump right in.

Ann Kittredge: 1:26

Tell me what is your favorite type of vocal to sing? That is such a good question, because the reality is I absolutely have none. What really intrigues me is what does this song need? And the album that I released last year, romantic Notions I mean, I've got country, I've got folk. I've got jazz, I've got swing. You know, I've got a hundred year old song. I've got swing. You know, I've got a hundred year old song. I've got, you know, a 2013 year old song. You know, I mean it's just because I don't, I don't ever want it to be about my voice. I always wanted to be about the storytelling, so I kid you not, it's always about, always about what do I have to bring to this song in the storytelling? And then I use it, whatever I can do, to do that.

Jay Franze: 2:28

Do you think that comes from the theater background?

Ann Kittredge: 2:30

Totally. Oh my gosh. Yes, you know, I think sometimes my creative team just stares at me, like you know, where is this coming from? Creative team just stares at me, like you know, where is this coming from? It is impossible for me to. You know, one of the things you hope that you are doing when you're on a stage is it's not, it's never about you. If you're doing a play or a musical, it's about the character and the relationships, right? And if you're doing a concert or a cabaret show, then it's all about the audience. It is never about you, right. And so you know, having spent all of those years hiding behind a character which I loved doing, I thrived doing it, I loved it, and then, you know, deciding to explore the concert world and things like that, I didn't know any better. I literally didn't know any better. All I knew is how to tell stories. The only difference was I wasn't hiding behind a character.

Jay Franze: 3:37

So what did you learn from it?

Ann Kittredge: 3:40

That it's harder to be yourself than a character. So what did you learn from it? That it's harder to be yourself than a character.

Jay Franze: 3:46

Nobody telling you what to do.

Ann Kittredge: 3:48

Well, yeah, and and also, you know if you're not vulnerable I mean, that's what people respond to whether you know, if you're doing a theater production or something, your job is for people to connect to, whatever it is the story you're telling, right, but if you have a character to hide behind, that is so much easier. But when, all of a sudden, the storytelling is exposing you, you really have to be honest with yourself. You know, I think it's tempting to put on a show, right, but it doesn't. Audiences are too smart, they don't buy it.

Jay Franze: 4:36

You know I've never done theater, but to me, I think, for me personally, I think being myself would be a lot easier than trying to act and be somebody else.

Ann Kittredge: 4:47

Well, you know, I don't even think I'm like this anymore, but I used to be very introverted and I think hiding behind a character was the perfect place for me to be for the longest time. And I was just talking to my daughter about this. It's interesting how we choose our careers, right, and, and a lot of, you know a lot of people choose to be therapists because they went through a lot of therapy. You know what I mean. And so they're like okay, that's, that's, I understand that and you know, and they go for that. And and I was telling her how, interestingly, when you're working on a character, you've always got to find the truth of the character in you, even if it's not a dominant feature, right, it's not.

Ann Kittredge: 5:34

Maybe it's not something that you you know doing, like you know being a murderer or whatever, but we all have it right, we all have it in us and so we have to tap into that. And I found, when I was really heavily doing a lot of theater productions, uncannily I would find myself working on characters that were forcing me to deal with a part of my personality that needed work, that needed some attention. And sometimes I'd be doing a show and I'd be like this is creepy, like why am I doing this part now?

Jay Franze: 6:12

Give us an example.

Ann Kittredge: 6:18

Oh boy, I guess I would bring up O Pioneers. I was doing oh Pioneers and it happened to be happening at the same time that my husband and I were separated. Now my husband and I are getting ready to celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary, but we did go through a difficult time and we were separated for almost two years, through a difficult time, and we were separated for almost two years and I got cast in the show called oh Pioneers and the woman is, you know, in a love triangle and all these different things, and I'm like, oh my god, like why, why am I? Why do I have to do this role? Why do I have to really be honest here, like you know, and and it was, yeah, but that was happening all the time I can't even you know so many different examples, but that would probably be a really good one.

Jay Franze: 7:08

Is it really tough to get through something like that?

Ann Kittredge: 7:30

it's actually really rewarding, if I do allow myself to be honest, because there is nothing more rewarding as a performer than, especially when you're being vulnerable, than complete silence, because you know that you've connected, you know that they know that what you're doing is true and you're affecting them, even if it's just for an hour or whatever. And when that doesn't happen, it's like damn, like what's wrong with me? Why aren't I, you know? But, boy, I can't even tell you. I love the silence. I love sometimes, how, sometimes you could tell me that I'm making this up and say, well, maybe you just sucked, and that could be true. But there are times sometimes where a moment has been so captured that the audience pauses before it applauds. It's like it's not even sure the audience isn't even sure they want to interrupt the moment. It's that kind of stuff that really really gets my juices going is knowing that they're like, oh wow, that's everything.

Jay Franze: 8:53

So, when this is going on, when you're working through one of these roles that relates to your life, what's going through your mind as you're performing it? Are you ever concerned with what people will think or how it's coming across?

Ann Kittredge: 9:07

No, because I have the character to hide behind. I mean, it's never a 100% thing. Right, you're finding those things in you that you can bring to a role. I'm not going to say it doesn't take courage, because I think there's a lot of people who may not want to be honest with themselves. I've never had that problem. The things people know about me are whatever you know, the things people know about me are whatever.

Jay Franze: 9:35

Well, I can only imagine especially being younger. When you're younger, it seems like the things that are going on in your life personally are harder to expose. I feel like the older I get, the easier it is to just lay it all out on the table.

Ann Kittredge: 9:49

Boy, I think you're so right about that. The older you get, you're just like I'm sorry, I don't care, I'm just gonna say it, I'm just gonna do it. You know, very true, because you know, when you're younger you're thinking about the next job, or the next director, the next casting director, like, or you know, if you, if you make a scene in some way, or you, you know you don't want to create any waves and I'm past that, but I did go through it.

Jay Franze: 10:17

Well, we're always thinking like that. We're always thinking about what comes next and what impression we leave on people. So, if you open up and put your wounds on the table, there's a chance somebody might reject you. Oh yeah. But the older you get the less you care about it. Oh, yeah, but the older you get, the less you care about it.

Ann Kittredge: 10:42

So do you enjoy performing, acting or singing better? I 100% enjoy storytelling. Either way, I do think that it's my gift. You know there was a. You know the the song, mr Tambourine man.

Jay Franze: 10:58

Yes.

Ann Kittredge: 11:00

So when we were putting together the album Romantic Notions, I liked to use the term notions to really go well beyond just the male female or male male, female, female, you know romantic thing. I wanted the romance of a garden, you know the romance of a baby, you know all these different things. And I wanted to find a song that I thought was a love song to music itself. And I looked for quite a while and then I was listening to Bob Dylan, tambourine man, and I went oh my gosh, this is it. And the way my team and I work together is we get together, we all have song ideas. We must go through I'm not kidding you a couple of hundred songs and it ends up with 13 or 14. So I come in with this. I said this is my song, this is my love song to music itself. And my team looked at me like I had three heads and they're like I don't think so. And so what? The way it works is we come in with ideas. People say yes, no, we throw them away, we continue on. I couldn't let this song go. I brought it in. I brought it in three more times over the course of four months and the last time I brought it in and they really were very kind to me, but they were just like it's just not going to work. I went home and I was crushed because for some reason I just couldn't let go of the song and I'm not usually like that. And I realized and I wrote an email to my team and I said I have to do this song. I have to do it. I've got arrangement ideas. I'm open to more ideas. I said but I can't not do this song and if you really don't like it, you have my permission to not be involved. I will get other people, but if you want to do it with me, you've got to be all in. I'm not going to. You know I don't want any. You know like oh, I hate this song, why are we doing this? He said I don't want any. You know like, oh, I hate this song, why are we doing this? He said you either got to give into it or be honest with me and I'll find someone else.

Ann Kittredge: 13:39

And they decided to stick with me and we tussled. I mean, it was not an easy arrangement to find. When we found it, can I just say that I think that my team really really struggled with seeing how it spoke to a love song about music itself, which is what they're. You know, sing Tabor, rima all you want, but how is that a love song to music itself, which is what they're? You know? Sing tambourine all you want, but how is that a love song to music itself?

Ann Kittredge: 14:18

And when we finally found the arrangement, I saw, I saw in my team, I saw this like this revelation, like, oh my gosh, and it's one of the proudest creative moments I've ever been through, that I fought so hard and that, even though my team was reluctant, they decided to go in on it with me and now it's become one of the one of the strongest things from the album and it's we were constantly requested to do it and stuff like that. Yeah, so it's courage. It's courage to to really believe, sometimes, even when the people that you respect the most think you're crazy.

Jay Franze: 15:06

Well, there's a few things in there that you mentioned. I want to make sure that we touch on one of which. You're talking about your team and you guys start off with a couple hundred songs and you whittle it down, and you're talking about the battle that you had of getting that one song to make it to the finish line.

Ann Kittredge: 15:23

Yeah.

Jay Franze: 15:24

Do you feel like that's similar to what we were talking about earlier, where you're putting something on the table that you might be afraid that others are going to not like and shoot down?

Ann Kittredge: 15:35

Oh, 100% as a matter of fact. Not that I think my team needed to hear this, I really don't, because they're just magnificent musicians and friends. But I did say to them I'm going to take the hit. If this doesn't work, I'm taking the hit, I promise you. Everyone's going to know. And if it does go well, we all get the credit. And we were scared.

Ann Kittredge: 16:07

I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to tell you that I was so sure people were going to love this I didn't. I just was sure that I loved it and I was so sure that this was a true love song to music itself. Whether Dylan meant it or not, when you slow that song down and really listen to the lyrics and really take in the imagery, it is about a person who spent the night overwhelmed with the beauty of music and he didn't want it to end. He just wanted it to keep going and going. And if that isn't love, right. So it was really rewarding when it worked out. But until it was released I'm not gonna lie, I, I, I was I wasn't sure what I was gonna be presented with well, you're talking about Dylan who's?

Jay Franze: 17:07

an amazing songwriter known for his songwriting abilities, and you're talking about yourself as a storyteller. So do you think that combination of the two and your ability to interpret a story helped you with the arrangement and coming up with the ideas you had to present the song that every song I sing it's going to be a jazz tune.

Ann Kittredge: 17:33

Do you know what I mean? If it's going to be jazz, it's for a reason. So it is so rewarding to find the right style, the right approach to bring out our reimagining of a song, and hopefully the goal is for it to feel organic, right, like it's completely different from anything you've heard before. And I'm not just talking about timbre, I'm talking about anything like our, like the, the, the songs that we choose. Some of them are are you know them, but we have have something different to say, and so it's going to be really different from what you're used to. But hopefully it's so honest that it's okay. It's like it's so honest that you're not going. What are they doing? Because it still works and that's the goal. That's the goal, because why bother just doing covers? I don't get that at all. I am 100% bored with just doing straight covers. You'll never see me do it. I don't understand. I don't get it.

Jay Franze: 18:49

Yeah, they need to be reimagined, in my opinion as well. You're talking about your team and picking these songs. Can you give us a few of the highlights of, maybe, how that selection process went in some of the songs that were considered?

Ann Kittredge: 19:03

Well, my music director is Christopher Denny and my someone who collaborates with us on the album. His name is Barry Kleinbort, my producer is Paul Rolnick and my album is Jazz Heads. But I want to talk about Barry Kleinbort. I have him in as a collaborator because he directs all of my shows, all of my solo shows, and he's brilliant. And I'm not going to say that he knows a lot about recordings. I don't have him there for that. What I have him there for is he so understands me. So, literally, the way we put this album together is, we'd say, for instance, he said to me Ann, I want this album to be more mature than your first album. I want it to reflect more who you are and what you've experienced. And then from there we would say okay, I'm trying to think.

Ann Kittredge: 20:21

When we came up with Romantic Notions as the title, there's a song called Romantic Notions, so that was an easy one. But then there was this one song called when have you Been? Do you know it? No, you might recognize it. It was a big hit back in the 80s. I think I had not heard it. I didn't remember it. I was like I didn't you know, but it was about a couple who lived their lives. They married, they stayed together forever and it ended with the wife getting Alzheimer's and forgetting everyone except her husband. It's the one person that she remembered, and I didn't know the song.

Ann Kittredge: 21:12

My collaborator, barry, knew that my mother was living with me and she had Alzheimer's and that that was a pretty major, significant portion of my life at that time and he brought that song to me and he said I really think you need to do this, is looking at my life and he's going ah, okay, this is going to really resonate. Neither the audience is going to know this, because I know and and I know that this is what and is going to be able to bring something very personal to it. But then there'll be another song where it's like, like Randy Klein, that the head of Jazz Head said I really want you to do some John Prine and I'm like why? So what we did is Chris and I sat down and we just listened to a bunch of John Prine and we found one that we really liked. But I'm not that kind of a country singer. There is some country music on my album, but I'm not that kind of a country singer. There is some country music on my album, but I'm not that kind of a country singer.

Ann Kittredge: 22:17

We made it into a swing, we made it into a swing song, but it's. It began with because someone said, hey, you should do John Prine. We listened to a whole bunch and we went, oh, I like this song, I don't like the version they're doing, let's do it as a swing number. And all of a sudden we had a swing song. So then Barry Barry would say to me no more swing songs on the album, you've got your one swing song. So then it's like okay, well, can I, can I infuse this with jazz? Yes, cause you don't have jazz on this album. Yet there isn't a single genre that repeats itself on my album. But that's that is is purposeful and it is. It is generated by my collaborator, barry, knowing that about me. He's got these. You know he goes all right. You filled that. Now this is the hole that's missing. How are you going to fill that? I just love him. I just love that. He knows that about me.

Jay Franze: 23:07

So All right. Well, you mentioned Paul, christopher and Barry, and I want to touch base on all of them, but first I want to touch base on Barry, because you call him a collaborator, but one of the things you mentioned that perked my ears up a little bit was that he directs your solo shows. So go ahead and explain to me then what somebody would do as a director for a solo show.

Ann Kittredge: 23:30

Oh, wow. So I'm sure that Barry works differently with different people. I think that you know he works with everyone's strengths, right? So with me, the way we work is it can take us quite a while.

Ann Kittredge: 23:56

This last show that we just created, called when In Love. We had no idea what we wanted to do. None, we had no framework, we had no concept. So we just started looking at, I mean, oh my gosh, hundreds of lists of songs just to try and get an idea of what do we even want to create this night, about right.

Ann Kittredge: 24:17

And then what would happen is I'd go, I've always wanted to sing this song. I've always wanted to sing it. It's a 110-year-old song, but I've always wanted to sing it. So I want it in the show, all right, so it's in the show, all right. So what does that tell us about what the show is going to be like? I don't know yet. It takes three or four more songs for me to say that. And then we suddenly go oh, the title when in Love comes from my Broadway debut was King David. It was written by Alan Menken and Tim Rice. Tim Rice wrote Jesus Christ Superstar. Alan Menken wrote he writes all of these Disney things and he's quite brilliant, but anyway.

Ann Kittredge: 25:00

And there's a song in the show called when in Love, and my Broadway debut was decades ago and so but I've always, always wanted to sing that song and it wasn't my song in the show, and so this show when In Love started to be songs that I've always wanted to sing but I never had a chance to. That actually could have been the theme, that actually could have been the title, right, but that's actually what we ended up doing because we had no other ideas and I said, well, let's just do things that I've been wanting to do for a long time. I did a show, um, at 54 below in january, a concert of a show called high spirits. Again, actors, we always like everyone else's music. There was a great song in the show. I didn't get to sing it and I'm like, let's do that, I want to do that one. So it did.

Ann Kittredge: 25:56

It ended up being a show that certainly weaved when in love, but ultimately it was just my list, my to-do list. I'm getting up there in age. I want to do these things. I haven't done them yet. You know, and you know what I have to tell you, jay, I didn't realize that until now I mean I'm just looking at it going that is literally what happened. It's crazy.

Jay Franze: 26:25

I'm a pretty good therapist, so you're creating a theme, so it still is sort of a theatrical performance overall.

Ann Kittredge: 26:35

Oh sure, I mean. There's there's patter, there's there's, you know, there's text, there's dialogue, the, the, the uh. The mastery that I think you never fully get in a solo show, though, is that you can't fully prepare yourself for the dialogue, because you have to engage the audience, and the audience can take you in different places, like, for instance, the last show I did just in May. I was telling a story about my husband, and the audience went crazy and they just took me in a totally different direction. I was like, oh my gosh, like it was fun for me. It was really fun for me. I was like, wow, they really liked that story, they really. For me, I was like, wow, they really liked that story, they really, you know. So you have to be a lot more present and you have to be less stuck to your, your prepared dialogue.

Ann Kittredge: 27:41

That that that'll keep you connecting things, cause that's the other beauty that Barry gives me is, he really helps to, you know, connect how one song leads to the next. He's also a fabulous writer and he writes specialty lyrics for me. He, oh my God, he wrote me this, an entire new verse to accentuate the positive to me. That was written by Johnny Mercer. I dare anyone to be able to think that Johnny Mercer didn't write it. I mean, it sounds 100% like Johnny Mercer. He's just. He's really amazing.

Jay Franze: 28:26

That's pretty cool. So you're taking some artistic liberty to go along with this, oh yeah. And then the other thing you mentioned too is the ability to think on your feet. I think kind of more like a comedian. So do you make that connection yourself and add a little bit of that comedy to your performance?

Ann Kittredge: 28:45

You know, if you, if you met Barry, one of the first things he would tell you about me is If you met Barry, one of the first things he would tell you about me is I am the one In rehearsals. I'm like, okay, where's the humor? I said I got to have humor Constantly, constantly. Come on, we've got to inject something here Absolutely, because I'm there to entertain you guys. I'm there to entertain you and you, yes, I hope that you want to be moved by a ballad, but you know, I also want you to get energized by an upbeat and to get into those things. You kind of I have to surprise you. You know, if you, if, if, if, if it's too obvious, you know what I mean Then then then you're going to lose interest in the show. So it's just so much fun to you know, throw curve balls to the audience and you feel it. You feel the audience go oh, wow, I didn't expect that. And oftentimes that comes from the humor, like where did she where?

Ann Kittredge: 29:46

did she? Where did she go with that, Like, where did that come from?

Jay Franze: 29:52

You mentioned the story. You were talking to the audience and you mentioned the story about your husband and they took you in a different direction. So what direction was it supposed to go in and what direction did it end up going in?

Ann Kittredge: 30:03

All right, I'll have to tell you the story. My husband's fine. I wouldn't have told the story without his permission anyway. But going back to King David, my husband is a Jesus Christ superstar fanatic Fanatic. He has the entire show memorized. He can sing the entire show and I wanted to tell the audience about what happened between he and Tim. But instead the audience wanted him to sing. They were like no, let him sing, let him sing the show. And I was like, oh guys, he can't sing. I mean he can, he knows the whole show, but you really don't want to listen to him saying you know, and so we just had a great time.

Ann Kittredge: 30:54

But I will continue and tell your audience the story with Tim Rice, which was at a cast party. I introduced my husband to Tim because my husband was just you know, and he's like oh, you know, tim, I just have to say I love Jesus Christ Superstar. And you know I got to say that my friends and I used to get a little high and listen to Jesus Christ Superstar. And Tim said I got to say star. And Tim said I got to say that's how we wrote Jesus Christ Superstar, it all makes sense now.

Ann Kittredge: 31:41

So my husband's dream come true. That's very cool.

Jay Franze: 31:45

All right, let's take a step back for a second. You talked about Paul earlier, and he's been a producer and arranger for you.

Ann Kittredge: 31:54

Describe his work style to us. I have to be honest with you, paul actually is the person who changed my life and brought me into this world of recording. My first album was a response to the pandemic and just this feeling that, if not now, when? And I had zero aspirations to getting it out to the public, zero aspirations to getting it out to the public. But I thought just one album of my favorite arrangements from multiple music directors that I've worked with, all of whom did their arrangements on the first album with me. So they all came in and it was really for my kids and I just thought what a wonderful gift. You know I'll be dead someday and they can listen to this album, right? And I knew nothing. I knew absolutely nothing. And so I started planning things and stuff like that, and I was just so clueless, and so I asked my music director, chris Denny. I said, chris, I don't know what I'm doing, I just need somebody to hold my hand so that you know whatever. And he said, well, you need to get in touch with Paul Rolnik. So I didn't think Paul knew me, we had met, but I did not think that I had, did not think I had made an impression. And so when I called him and I was like, oh, this is Ann Kittredge, we met da, da, da da, and he's like I know who you are, what are you talking about? I was like, oh, okay. And then I told him I was calling because, you know, I was working on this album and I didn't know what I was doing and could he, could he help me? And I don't know what it was. But this man believed in me before I believed in myself. I mean, I just I could not believe what happened after that. He took me under his wing, he believed in me and this album that was literally just a love thing to my kids that I just wanted to do one, ended up being streamed over a million times on Spotify and has been out on the radio worldwide, worldwide. There's no word to describe how absolutely I just I never and it was all Paul. I mean he just believed in me.

Ann Kittredge: 34:42

And then, when the first album did so well, randy Klein from Jazz Heads was like you got to get back in the studio, you've got to, you've got to, you know, take advantage of this momentum. And I'm like I have no ideas. I'm like what are you talking about, I don't you know. But I agreed with him. I thought, yes, you know, I've got to take advantage of this momentum. And so, whereas Reimagine, the first album, was literally just a bunch of songs that I liked, the arrangements, there's nothing else that makes it an album, except that's why we called it Reimagine, because there was nothing. You just couldn't find any rhyme or reason for why these songs were on the same album.

Ann Kittredge: 35:32

But Romantic Notions that was the one that, oh my gosh, we actually had an idea. We had the idea from the beginning. We created this thing that actually had a beginning, a middle and an end and it was just really, really rewarding. And I got hooked. I just got hooked. I got hooked. I was like, oh my gosh, I love recording and I and you know Paul, he just continues to encourage me. He's a fabulous mixer. He mixes all of my recordings. He offers arrangement suggestions. Chris and Barry and I pretty much do most of the arrangements, the three of us. But Paul brings in oh, I think you need a clarinet on this one. Or oh, this would be really nice with a Jimmy Webb type of guitar solo and the. You know, I mean that that's where he would provide his musical instincts, but his mixing is incredible, really incredible all right.

Jay Franze: 37:01

Well, we're talking about your albums, putting your albums together and working with such great people, your ability to perform shows at some of these amazing venues or on Broadway. So it seems like everything is falling into place with you. Can you tell us about some of the challenges you may have had along the way?

Ann Kittredge: 37:18

Confidence. Confidence has been a big challenge. I took time off from my career by choice to raise my kids simply because, really honestly, I wasn't making enough money to justify a nanny. I just it was. It seemed like I was making just enough money to pay for a nanny and I was like, what, why am I a parent If I just it just felt wrong. And so I never in a million years, in a million years, imagined that I would stop working. And then I did it of my own volition. It wasn't easy I will not say it was. It was very, very hard. It really kind of messed up my identity, honestly. And when and then I spent those years, I was a huge volunteer.

Ann Kittredge: 38:27

I spent those years doing music with children, whether it was elementary or middle or high school. As my kids grew up and and I honestly just got sick of doing it with everyone else and not with me, I just got sick of it. I was just like, oh you know, but I didn't know if I could anymore. It had been 10 years since I'd done anything professional, plus the fact that I have never presented myself as Ann Kittredge the singer. I'd always presented myself prior as Ann Kittredge, the actress who sings right. So I was just so desperate to have a creative outlet that I just went for it and I didn't know what I was doing and, uh, it was crushing sometimes because at first I knew.

Ann Kittredge: 39:27

I wasn't good. I mean I, at first I knew I wasn't good. I mean I, I have pretty good radar and, uh, I was rusty, I was trying something I'd never done before and I was certainly didn't have the skills yet. But of course, how do you get the skills? You had to do it right, you just could keep doing it. But it didn't help my ego very well. When, when, uh, I knew I just wasn't delivering what I knew the audience deserved. So it, it took a lot to continue, because I also knew that if I didn't continue, how was I going to learn? How was I going to get there? Right now, I'm never going to stop learning.

Ann Kittredge: 40:10

I am never going to be as good as I want to be, but I do now feel that my audiences are getting their money's worth. I do. I really love what I do now and I you know I may not always um trust that I'm worthy all the time. But I know it's weird to say this, jay, but I do believe in myself. But I also, you know, I allow myself the doubts. How's that?

Jay Franze: 41:06

I think that's a challenge a lot of creative people go through. Right Is believing that you're good enough, believing that what you have to say is worthy of somebody spending their money or their time to get involved. So I can understand that.

Ann Kittredge: 41:20

But while we talk about challenges I know you said your mother had some struggles- Can you tell us about the relationship you had with your mother and how that affected your career? Oh, wow, okay, so that the audience has a certain context to what I'm about to tell you. My parents lost their first child when she was three years old. She was, at the time, an only child and it was an accident. And three years later, three children later, I was born on the day she died. So so I think that that played a huge role in my relationship with my parents and, I think, with my father. It brought us closer.

Ann Kittredge: 42:26

And I think with my mother, I never, never, questioned her love for me, but I think she had a little bit more difficulty being vulnerable with me and she. So I think it was about 20 years ago that she really disappointed me about something and I was so upset. I didn't speak to her for about six months and I realized this is going to sound so crazy to your audience. I realized that in order to have a joyful, rewarding relationship, relationship with her, I had to grieve the loss of my mother while she was alive. I needed to let go of any expectation of a mother figure, and it took me a couple of years, but I succeeded. My mother was a beautiful person, she was caring, she was thoughtful. She was caring, she was thoughtful, she was duty oriented, which I think sometimes kept her from being truly happy. But she was very religious but said about my mother she never, never broke. She always bent, you know, and sometimes it would take her a while to bend. Okay, but she always bent. And so when she started to get sick, I had already been pretty much caring for her day to day. You know her finances and you know food and stuff and all that stuff with the pandemic and stuff. I had already been doing it for almost 10 years.

Ann Kittredge: 44:54

So but the problem was I lived in New York and she lived in Massachusetts and my mother absolutely refused to move in with me. We tried, we said just come for a few months. She came for a few months and she said I'm still going home. She just would not. She needed to be in Massachusetts. So at first, when she started to really show signs, she moved in with my brother and after a while, you know, we decided that mom was going to come and stay with me.

Ann Kittredge: 45:30

And at this point she was less aware, you know it person she was and I just thought you've got Alzheimer's. You're 97 years old. You have no mask left. This is who you are Like. This is my mother. My mother is the sweetest thing and I didn't really think of her as my mother I mean technically, of course she was, but I just saw her as a beautiful, beautiful person and I had the the incredible gift to be able to give her at least some of what she wanted at the end of her days, which was she did not want to go to a nursing home and she did not want and she wanted to be around family. Sorry, mom, it happened in New York. She wanted to be around family. Sorry, mom, it happened in New York. But she had her daughter, she had her grandchildren. My husband was wonderful to her. I don't blame anyone for not doing it. It's a lot, but it's probably the greatest thing I've ever done for my life and I am forever grateful to myself that we did it that we did it as a family.

Jay Franze: 47:15

That's awesome. That's a very amazing story. Thank you for sharing.

Ann Kittredge: 47:25

To be fair, Bostonian moving to New York is probably a tough thing to do, yeah she was pretty adamant for the majority of her life.

Jay Franze: 47:36

But hey, you know, all right, my friend, we do this thing here we call Unsung Heroes, where we take a moment to shine the light on somebody who's worked behind the scenes or somebody who may have supported you along the way. Do you have anybody you'd like to shine a little light on?

Ann Kittredge: 47:47

Oh my gosh, my husband. I'm not kidding. We've been like I said, we're getting ready to marry our 40th anniversary and every step of the way that I lacked confidence, he didn't. That I lacked confidence, he didn't. He was always like no, you know, every time I would be like, especially when you're first starting out, there's a lot of self-investment, right, and so I'm like I can't believe we're wasting money on me. And he's like this is not a waste. This is not. Are you kidding? This is exactly what we should be doing. And and my husband, we met in college. He was a directing major, so he got his master's in directing and I you know he's my biggest critic, but he's also my biggest fan. And, um, I trust him because I know he will not just tell me what I need to hear. He will, just as a matter of fact. Sometimes I wish he would, but he won't. I am very lucky that I have people around me that know that I don't want to be lied to.

Jay Franze: 49:02

Fair enough, did he stay in the business fair enough.

Ann Kittredge: 49:10

Did he stay in the business? He did, but he went to the other side of the business. He is, uh, he works for the schubert organization. The schubert organization you probably know this, but maybe your audience doesn't. They are the largest theater owners on broadway and they also produce shows, once in a while sometimes, but yes, so he has been with them for over 20 years.

Jay Franze: 49:29

Very nice. Also very impressive, all right. Well, we have done it. We have reached the top of the hour, which does mean we have reached the end of the show. If you've enjoyed the show, please tell a friend, and if you have not, like we say, tell two. You can reach out to both of us over at jfranzycom. We will be happy to keep this conversation going. And, my friend, I cannot thank you enough for being here tonight.

Ann Kittredge: 49:51

It was a pleasure, thank you.

Jay Franze: 49:53

It has been an absolute pleasure. I would like to leave the final words to you.

Ann Kittredge: 49:57

Oh my, Go out and listen to independent artists. You'd be surprised how much good music is being done. And all these independent artists out there. We need your support, so please go out and look for us.

Jay Franze: 50:22

All right, folks On that note have a good night.

Tony Scott: 50:26

Thanks for listening to The Jay Franze Show. Make sure you visit us at jayfranze. com. Follow, connect and say hello.